19 September 08 - 13:23
The World of Grownups
I spent a lot of time with my kids this summer, since the church office was closed and they were home from school. Kids live in a different world from us grownups, and sometimes I think that we grownups, if we think about the kid world at all, tend to think only about its inadequacies. Like, they're late for school because they get suddenly fascinated with a bug on the wall (but who made the rule that the school bell is more important than the bug, hmmm?), or they cry because they don't get to stay up for an extra half hour to play their favourite computer game (I'm in a really poor moral position to comment here, as I drag my son off to bed so I can get at the computer... 
), or they just refuse to see reason on a whole host of issues (translation: They don't see it my way). But when you live closely with kids for a while, you start to get glimpses of where they're coming from.
My ten year old daughter was talking to me about a book she was reading. I don't remember the exact book or where the conversation was coming from, but I remember she asked me a question about where the dragons came from that were guarding the treasure. I was loading the dishwasher at the time, and I answered, "Honey, there are no such things as dragons. They're imaginary creatures." She didn't answer, and I kept on loading the dishwasher, and after a moment she appeared at my elbow. "I never want to grow up," she said. "Why not?" I asked with surprise. "Because if growing up means I don't believe in dragons, I don't want to grow up."
I'm still reeling from the wisdom of this statement. It's especially relevant because I'm in a vocation where it's my business to believe in things unseen. I heard a panel of people on CBC's Sounds Like Canada last spring where two of the three panelists fervently didn't believe in God, and one of them said that God was something you gave children to help them sleep through the night, but when they grew up, they didn't need God to get them through the bumps and terrors any more. The third panelist, a thoughtful Christian, was as aghast as I was to hear God reduced to the status of child's teddy bear. Is that really how the world sees our God? And if I, a person who claims that there is a lot more to the mystery of faith than the things we can touch and taste and see, where do I get off telling my daughter that there's no such things as dragons. Have I, indeed, become a grownup of such a limited world? I haven't got an answer yet.
In the meantime, I discovered that my twelve year old daughter was blind terrified to go back to school. She started junior high this September, and her grade six teachers the year before had filled her head with dire warnings that junior high was going to be much harder, they were going to get lost between classes, and they couldn't fool around like they did in grade six. That last point, I think was the world-of-grownups comment, trying to terrify the kids into good behavior. Well it terrified her, all right. She didn't get out of her pajamas the day before school started. She told me later that she didn't sleep that night.
Actually, I wasn't doing all that great that night either. I lay in bed talking with my best beloved, nearly in tears, and told him I was afraid of going back to the daily grind. Maybe I was afraid of having that world-of-grownups disbelief claim my soul again. But for sure I'd be out a lot more, disrupting our family life all over again. He laughed and gave me a hug, and said, "It's been nice knowing you. See you again in June." (Did I mention how much I love this man? Not everyone would put up with this chaotic life that we lead.)
The next day, I came home from the office and met my twelve year old at the door of the house, and she said, "That wasn't half as bad as I expected." "Honey," I said, "nothing could have been as bad as you expected." She's thriving in junior high, finding the work easy, and when we met her math teacher at Curriculum Night, he said that the only problem with her is to get her to not answer in class.
For my part, I've been too busy getting things going in September, as predicted, but I'm still thinking about how I can get out of this world of grownups from time to time, and find the place where imagination and God collide. It's a work in progress, just like pretty much everything in my world. But it's not like we get an instruction manual, issued when we're born. Sometimes, we have to take instruction on these matters from the real experts, our kids.
Blessings, Heather.
two comments
Interesting Blog Heather. Have you read Antoine de Saint-Exupery recently? As I recall, he had some wise thoughts about the world of grownups and the things that really matter..
Geoff - 20 09 08 - 22:29
I’m hoping your answer to A. was a one-off. Maybe dishwashing put you off your stride. You’re the person who can discuss the intricacies of Harry Potter’s world in detail that I think would impress the author! so I know you take some stories very seriously.
I remember thinking being grownup was boring because their books had no pictures (like Alice in Wonderland). I still skip to the pictures in a book, even if it’s just the author photo.
Take care, E.
EB in London - 20 10 08 - 09:19
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